likes *力宏 *wikipedia *iced lemon tea *chocolates *zzzZZzZZz *red rock deli sweet chilli & sour cream *nasi lemak *shopping *strawberries *F.R.I.E.N.D.S *grey's anatomy *prague


dislikes CATS insomnia hunger heights






mauboussin etoile beaute ring


tiffany diamonds by the yard bracelet


mulberry alexa bag


burberry check cashmere scarf


TBC



px +
melanie +
yinng +
kevin +
ei-leen +

everybody is ugly +
bagaholic boy +
pink is the new blog +
handbag +


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please be warned that this was written by an emotionally-overwhelmed person who did not know what to do with the piece of information she just received hours ago. hence, it may contain some biased opinions and thought which she may or may not regret afterwards.

i am at a crossroad, not knowing which path to take. i never thought i'd be here this fast, having to choose between 2 extremes at this point in time. yes there were disagreements and arguments but i don't think the honeymoon period is over yet. until now. i think it just officially ended when those words were uttered. softly but nonetheless piercing.

at the start, when things were rosy and nice, it was such an easy task to just look the other side and be cool about things which were a no-no to me. i mean come on, if it's serious, it'll eventually be out of your face, voluntarily. some did. but i was not so tolerant on 2 particular issues of which i was assured, i repeat, assured that it will go according to plan. the 2 most important things which matter a lot to me because i deem it against my principle to accept something less than these.

time goes by and now, i'm slapped in the face with the news that one of these, the easier one, could not be done. so it's up to me to take it or leave it. as simple as that. a few more steps to the finish line and i was told it will not be done because of a simplistic, "i just don't want to do it anymore". years of unfinished business just out of the window at this crucial time.

how do you expect me to swallow this and pretend nothing ever happened when just months ago, i was informed that someone can't wait to get over this obstacle and move on to the next stage in life, with me in hand? how do you expect me to swallow this when i was eagerly waiting for it to end so that i, i mean we, don't have to be a denial anymore? how do you expect me to swallow this when i have been planning the perfect gift for the occasion when someone receive his "get out of jail" pass?

this decision is something i really really cannot comprehend. something beyond my understanding. i just couldn't find an explanation to justify it. and i certainly cannot accept it. not at this moment.

but still, i am torn inside between my conscience and my heart. and it hurts so bad.




are fairytale endings really just, fairytale endings?

186^arch♥byz