likes *力宏 *wikipedia *iced lemon tea *chocolates *zzzZZzZZz *red rock deli sweet chilli & sour cream *nasi lemak *shopping *strawberries *F.R.I.E.N.D.S *grey's anatomy *prague


dislikes CATS insomnia hunger heights






mauboussin etoile beaute ring


tiffany diamonds by the yard bracelet


mulberry alexa bag


burberry check cashmere scarf


TBC



px +
melanie +
yinng +
kevin +
ei-leen +

everybody is ugly +
bagaholic boy +
pink is the new blog +
handbag +


December 2006 +
January 2007 +
February 2007 +
March 2007 +
April 2007 +
May 2007 +
June 2007 +
July 2007 +
August 2007 +
September 2007 +
October 2007 +
November 2007 +
December 2007 +
January 2008 +
February 2008 +
March 2008 +
April 2008 +
May 2008 +
June 2008 +
July 2008 +
August 2008 +
September 2008 +
October 2008 +
November 2008 +
December 2008 +
January 2009 +
February 2009 +
March 2009 +
April 2009 +
May 2009 +
June 2009 +
July 2009 +
August 2009 +
September 2009 +
October 2009 +
November 2009 +
December 2009 +
February 2010 +
April 2010 +
May 2010 +
June 2010 +
December 2010 +
March 2011 +
August 2011 +
September 2011 +
March 2012 +
April 2012 +
May 2012 +
August 2012 +
December 2012 +
July 2013 +


Brush: Colorfilter
Font: Dafont
Host: Blogger
Image: Dodoy
Layout: chique-lilie ©

i can't believe i just did that. i seriously cannot believe what i just freaking did.

it was as though i had dug through piles and piles of buried past without consent. it was as though i had violated someone's privacy. i had just went through a load of information which i am not supposed to know. behind someone's back. things which i had chosen to ignore in the first place. which i had chosen to not give a f-king damn about them. because i thought it didn't matter. because i thought it shouldn't matter. because i thought i was above it.

well, it really shouldn't matter anymore but right now at this moment, this f-king moment, the phrases and images from the past which were not meant to be viewed by me are going through my head and being imprinted in my memory. and no matter how hard i try to erase them, they just would not go away.

and now i'm drown by guilt. my whole body, from each strand of my hair to my toes, is filled with guilt. i went behind someone's back and did this utterly horrible thing. i have betrayed that person's trust. i should not have done it but i did. and i did it at this point in time.

it really REALLY should not matter anymore! because it was freaking in the freaking past and i am now living in the present and looking towards the future. what matters most is the NOW and the FUTURE, NOT THE F-KING PAST!!!!!!!!!i kept telling myself this but somehow, it doesn't seem to work. why??? WHY???? (i'm hyperventilating and my mind is gonna explode soon)

i want to come clean (directly) but i am just so afraid. i am so scared that it will ruin every single thing and leads to never-ending arguments. i am just so terrified to find out that person's reaction and perception of me from now on.

i am so disgusted with myself. yuck.

186^arch♥byz